From your friends to your colleagues to your neighbour’s cat, you’re probably receiving unsolicited advice from anyone that you’ve happened to mention to that you’re mature dating. We debunk the most common senior dating myths, poor advice and simply untrue observations so you can date in peace:
MYTH: When you meet “the one” you’ll know
Later, you can claim to have fallen in love at first sight, but the chances of instinctively knowing when you’ve found Mr or Mrs Right are pretty slim! Mature dating is real life, not a romantic comedy. Working out whether you’re compatible with someone takes effort and more than just a meeting of eyes.
If you’re constantly on the lookout for a mysterious sign that you’ve met your perfect match every time you’re on a date, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Simply take that pressure off yourself, and instead take time to get to know and fall in love with someone.
MYTH:You’ll find love when you’re least expecting it
We’ve all heard this one before, and much as we’d all like to believe it, it’s simply not true. Sorry, but it’s just what your friends say to make you feel better about your single status. The love of your life isn’t going to burst in sweep you off your feet while you’re doing last night’s dishes.
If you want to find love you’re going to have to put yourself out there on the mature dating scene and make an effort. Get messaging and dating other singles over 50 like you looking for love!
MYTH: Don’t talk about yourself, you’ll seem narcissistic
While it’s seldom a good idea to regale your date with anecdote after anecdote about yourself without letting them get a word in, the purpose of a date is to get to know each other, so you shouldn’t hold back from talking about yourself. Ideally you’re aiming for an equal exchange of information between you.
Ask them questions to show that you’re interested in what they have to say, but also share a few choice nuggets about yourself to demonstrate that you feel comfortable enough in their company to be frank. It’s all about striking a good balance between listening and talking.
MYTH: You need to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince
It’s a commonly held belief that mature dating is a numbers game, so it follows that the more people you date, the more likely you are to find your sweetheart? Not necessarily true! You won’t increase your chances of finding love by going on more dates with just anyone. It’s much better to be selective about who you date.
There’s very little to be gained by perpetually dating the wrong type of person and everything to be gained by choosing the right people to spend your time with. Remember, be adventurous, but it’s quality mixed with quantity you should be aiming for.
MYTH: Men are intimidated by women who are confident and successful
Some men might be intimidated by independent and self-sufficient women, but luckily, they’re in the minority. We might be mature dating, but we’re not living in a past where it’s okay for men to be ‘off’ about dating a confident and successful woman!
In fact, most men find the idea of dating someone more successful than themselves a turn-on, and it’s similar for women senior dating too; it’s healthy to be inspired.
MYTH: Always order something ‘healthy’ when you go on a dinner date
If salad isn’t what you’d normally order from a restaurant menu and you’re only doing it in order to be perceived in a certain way, you’re offering a false impression of who you are. In mature dating, be mature and order whatever you’d like, be it steak and chips or salmon en croute.
It’s far better to be honest about who you are, and show your date that you’re comfortable in your own skin, rather than trying to be someone you’re not. The goal is to be authentically compatible with each other.
MYTH: Don’t talk about politics, religion etc. on a date
Sure, politics, religion and a host of other topics can be controversial topics to discuss on a date. But you’re mature dating, and not a toddler any more! There’s no reason to avoid these topics, and your date should be able to have a reasonable and usually passionate conversation about these topics – if they can’t, that might be an important red flag for you.
Controversial topics actually often reveal a lot not only about what is important to your date, but also their character in how they choose to express those views.