If you’re about to begin dating a widower, or to start your dating journey as someone who has experienced loss, it can at times feel a little daunting. There’s no need to be intimidated though – take your time and you’ll soon find friendship and maybe more with someone special.
If you’re a widow yourself, becoming bereaved doesn’t by any means have to mean that your dating time is over. In fact, you’re in a great position to begin your search for someone to share life’s magical moments with – you know what you want (and perhaps more importantly, what you don’t want) and you know the true value of meaningful connection with other like-minded people.
What To Expect When Dating a Widower or Widow
Dating is all about communication – getting to know the other person, having fun together, and listening to one another as you agree the pace you’d like to move at together. Dating a widower is no different, and doesn’t need to make either of you feel any additional anxiety.
You’re both at a time where you’re ready to live life to the fullest, to enjoy the prime of your life, and are looking for the right person to share and celebrate those experiences with (and also just to have a good laugh together!).
Tips for Dating a Widower or Widow
Dating someone who has lost a spouse can still be an incredibly emotionally rewarding experience, even if it comes with its ups and downs. When beginning any new relationship, it’s easy to see everything with rose-tinted glasses. However, don’t be surprised if you find yourself going through the grieving process with them, possibly supporting them along the way. They might also have a previous family with their late husband or wife. You might find yourself navigating a relationship with their older children too. Below, we suggest some tips for helping you and your date get the best out of your blossoming relationship:
Helping them to move forward
When dating someone who has experienced significant loss, you might find that they want to look towards the past for comfort. However, this doesn’t make things much easier for you both. You can be supportive of their grief, but also help them to recognise – as compassionately as possible of course – their future with you. Perhaps you could both visit new places together – if you both have a bucket list, why not travel the world?
Understand the grief process
When a widower experiences the unexpected loss of their spouse, this does not mean that their feelings for them have completely severed. Therefore, when entering a relationship with a widow, you might find that their relationship with their late husband is not truly over. Whether or not you’re comfortable going through this with them is up to you. If you both are developing a strong new relationship built on love, then this process is bound to be easier.
Respecting their family
Widowers have often built a family with their late husband, and might still be relying on them for emotional support. By spending quality time with her children and extended family, you can help solidify important bonds with your new partner.
Tips for Dating as a Widower or Widow
Returning to the dating scene after your spouse has died can be a challenging process. However, it’s far from impossible, and there are plenty of compassionate people looking for love. They may have gone through a similar experience to you, and are feeling like it’s time to meet someone new.
There’s no set rule about how much time has to pass before you’re ready for a new relationship. Grief is normal to experience, and you may not be able to imagine yourself going on another date after your husband or wife has died. It also takes different forms; grief does not look the same for everyone. You might decide to date a lot after your partner has died, but that does not mean your feelings are any less valid than someone who chooses not to date.
Below, we have a few green flags and positive signs to look out for on your new date. Whether you’ve just started a new relationship and aren’t sure how it’s going, or are simply looking to chat to members on an app, read on:
Grief no longer consumes you
Although grief might not ever fully go away from you, it’s going to be challenging dating a new partner if you are still consumed by grief for your late husband. But when this grieving process is no longer at the centre of your life, you might find yourself more open to new dating possibilities.
You feel independent
A good indication of whether you’re ready for a new relationship is whether you can take on day-to-day life challenges independently. This doesn’t mean not ever relying on help from family or children. Rather, it’s more that you feel confident in your solitude, perhaps revisiting old hobbies, or meeting up with past friends. In a nutshell, you’re not looking to fill a void with a new relationship just for the sake of it. Instead, you’re ready to meet someone for a real connection.
You can appreciate your date for their unique qualities
While in the early stages of grief you might find yourself comparing every potential match with your late spouse. When you’re ready to date however, you can find room in your heart for a great new person, who has their own positive qualities. While everyone experiences love in a different way, it’s possible to feel love for a whole new person. Although no one relationship is the same, it is very possible for many widows and widowers to learn to love another person again.
What To Look For In A Widow Dating Site
Many singles now search for that special someone online – after all, online dating sites can be a great place to meet new people and to begin your dating journey at your own pace. We all have our own particular passions and preferences, and dating online can also make it easier to search for someone who shares those interests. You’ll be in good company if you decide to seek out a widow dating site – 36% of British singles over 50 have already used online dating, including many people who have suffered a loss and are now ready to start their dating journey.
When looking to become a member of a dating app that’s right for you, be sure to seek out websites that encourage you to take your time and move at your own pace, without feeling any pressure to meet face-to-face before you feel comfortable doing so.
Look for sites that encourage meaningful conversation and connection over something more fleeting and which support you in sharing who you are and what it is you’re looking for. After all, you’re young at heart and looking for someone to share your adventures with, and you need to convey that in order to find the perfect partner-in-crime.
Great on your own. Better together.
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