Falling in love for the first time is great, but falling in love for the second time is even better. Why? Because you’re older and as wisdom comes with age, you better know what you want now (and what you don’t want).
Dating after a divorce or a big and painful break-up can seem terrifying. After several years or even decades ‘out of the dating game’, you think you have no idea what the mature dating rules are or how you’re meant to play it.
But don’t be afraid, because having had the chance to experience love – and the loss of it – you’ve actually been quietly learning more rules than you could ever imagine.
Here are some reasons to embark on a senior dating journey and fall in love again.
1. You know what you want
When you’re young, you don’t need or want to look into the future too closely, especially in dating. What if they don’t want to commit yet? What if you know they never want kids and you eventually do? You’re happy to go along for the ride and pretend that stuff doesn’t matter. In mature dating, you’re a little more aware of the ticking clock of time. As a result, you make decisions faster and cut out the ‘it’ll never really work’ dates before you invest any precious emotion and money.
2. There’s more to talk about
When you first fall in love, you’re probably young, which by definition means you don’t have much life experience. So what exactly is there to talk about on a date? Music, friends, going out – all the surface stuff. But nothing that’s really deep or real. When you’re older, you’ve had more chance to travel the world, learn wise lessons, change jobs, fall in and out of love, and all the other meaty things the passing years will have thrown at you. By having more experiences to talk about, it obviously means those awkward date silences are less likely to happen in the mature dating scene.
3. You have perspective
After going through a few break-ups and make-ups, you can’t help but have a healthy dose of realism. As long as it doesn’t turn to cynicism, this just means you have a good perspective on what really matters. For example, when dating someone new, is it really that important they text back within a day or put two kisses or one at the end? The little things that might have caused you hours of fretting when you were younger no longer seem to matter. It’s a fact of life that a man or woman involved in senior dating gives relationships a better chance to grow and breathe.
4. It’s the inside that counts
When you meet someone in the mature dating scene, you still want to fancy them, of course. But unlike your first flushes of love which were all about crazy heart-racing and stomach-churning looks, it’s not the only thing that matters. You’ve had the time to realise someone being kind, funny, intelligent, honest and friendly is infinitely more important than wearing fancy clothes or having the right hair-cut.
5. You throw away the rules
‘The three day texting rule,’ ‘The never go without make-up rule,’ ‘The wait a year before moving in rule’. When you’re new to dating and desperate for guidance, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of following every cliché you hear. A few years extra experience means you’ve finally realised playing by the book doesn’t necessarily work out when mature dating. Rather than trust what other people might think, you have learnt to trust your own gut instinct.